The moments that could have changed our lives
by KaiSaeren
Summary: It has been 10 years since they have properly seen each other. With lives moving in different directions, it is hard for even the best of friends to remain in touch, especially if something so heavy is hanging between them. No matter how happy your life is, no matter how busy you find yourself, your mind always has time to wander and think about things best forgotten. NaruSaku.


**Authors notes: I think that just about everybody who likes Naruto sometimes wishes he wasnt such a stuttering moron. Sure sometimes its adorable, but so many things would be so much easier if he exerted his amazing power of "speech at the end" for other things than just the endings :D**

 **So here are just a few things from manga/anime that i rewritten to make them more to my liking, hope someone somwhere will enjoy it :)**

 **PS: this will be sort of prologue and a first chapter will come in a few days, i will likely update with other moments i would have wanted reworked (already done the confession and the scene were Sakura saves Naruto during the war, but these will not be part of this small series as they are already posted)**

 **This is NaruSaku so please do not hate on me if you do not like the pairing :)**

 **I do not own Naruto of course :)**

The words that could have changed our lives

On the top of the Hokage monument sat a figure. In almost perfect blackness of the night, long before dawn he was barely visible.

Deep in thought, with his legs dangling off of the top of his fathers head, Naruto laid back and let his upper body fall on the cold stone of the statue to stare up at the night sky. Konoha at night was a lovely sight, but the night sky always helped him concentrate when his mind wandered. And help he needed, it has been over 50 hours since he slept if he counted right and still tiredness refused to come to him as if adrenaline was pumping through his body non stop.

For last 50 hours, no, maybe even long before than, his mind was racing. For years now, his life was happy, calm and peaceful. He reached his dream, became someone that the entire village acknowledged and looked up to, adjacent to it came the title of hokage, which he always wanted. He had married Hinata and had two beatiful children. His friends always found time to visit him in Hokage tower and cheer on him and aside for mountains of paper work on genins not being able to catch runaway cats, village was working properly and improving.

Why than, why did he feel so weird, so out of place. He had always been content with his past, it easy for him, it was past and whatever happened was already gone and done. He knew that whether he was a small brat, or loud mouthed teenager, he always done everything with his entire heart set on it, so he had no regrets. But recently a few memories came to his mind as things that he had missed, opprotunities he did not take and realisations he had not understand back than. It was annoying him to no end.

He did not think of her that way ever since he started courting Hinata, ever since he gave up on his stupid childhood crush in the light of Sasuke coming back home. It was pretty much the only thing he ever gave up on, but it was the right thing to do, he had no regrets...did he?

"Oh so many things i could have done better," he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation.

An image of Sakura in her green jounin jacket and black pants she wore during the war sprang infront of his eyes. He blinked several times, still seeing her against the star full night, but the image stayed with him. He swated the air with his hands trying to make it go away and huffed in annoyance.

Sakura has not been on his mind for so long, what propmted this stupid reliving of his memories. When the war ended and he and Sasuke came back, he was so happy for her, for both of them, for all of them. They were team 7 again, he spent all of his free time in close proximity of his best friends, helping Sasuke asimilate as much as he could before he left for his redemption journey. Helping Sakura cope with him being gone again when he left and helping her prepare for his innavitable return. He was spending a lot of time with both of them, until they got secretly married on one of their journey outside of land of fire. When they came back, Sakura was already with a baby, her name was Sarada and she was beatiful. After that, there was just too much to be done, for them and him both, he just became Hokage and it came with a huge free time cut, and Sakura needed her space with the newborn child. He would lie if he said he was not mad at Sasuke when he left again, shortly after Sakura settled back in her home but he never found it in him to confront him about it. As much as he wanted him to stay and be at Sakura's side, as much as he wanted to help her it was no longer his place to do so. Shortly after he and Hinata got married and he had a slew of new problems to concentrate on. He was happy and busy on the outside, but sad and confused somewhere deep inside him, in a place he chose no longer to visit. And so he stopped meeting with Sakura, apart from a few accidental meetings he hadn't seen her for 10 years. He couldn't belive it himself, how did the time got away from him so much. She was still his best friend, he wanted to visit her, see her, help her and be in her life, didnt he?

A plump formed in his throat at his thoughts and he looked around fear in his eyes, as if someone could see what he was thinkink about. He was ashamed of thinkink about her in the old way, of thinkink about her at all. he was ashamed of not being there for her more but also angry, whether at himself or her, he did not know. She certainly never came to him for help, he never heard anyone mention that she was in any kind of distress and when he asked Shikamaru, he would only shrug and said she was fine.

Still, he had never felt so angry at himself before. He should have done better, he should have been there for her more and he should not have given up.

Naruto groaned and forcefully closed his eyes, bringing his hands to his head, than his closed fists to his eyes as he pushed on the eyelids to erase Sakura's still remaining image from his mind.

Suddenly jolted from his thought by crunching footsteps Naruto yelped and voice came to meet his surprise, sending him over the border of surprise into an unmasked horror.

"What are you doing here so late by yourself Naruto?"

Naruto almost fell of the statue, only to have a slim, yet strong hand catch him by his shoulder and pin him back in place.

He raised hands across his face and put his knees over his upper body in a defensive gesture.

"I didnt! I wasnt-anything Sakura-chan!" He stammered.

"What?" She laughed at his inability to express himself.

Getting over his surprise quickly and realising that she could not have heard anything, as he was only thinkink about her, Naruto relaxed and let his hands and feet fall, puting a bit of honorable hokage into his face expression a trick he learned over the years to avoid being called undignified or childish.

"Umm, i meant good morning Sakura. What are you doing here?" He said in a forced husky voice.

She laughed again. "Yes that's exactly what it sounded like."

"More importantly, what are you doing here, you should be sleeping, hokage has to has his head clear for all the important decisions he makes every day. You know that staying up all night is not healthy, right?" Sakura continued.

Naruto smirked. "Oh yes, all those important cat cathing and garden cleaning decisions i have to make, what can i say, i make the world spin." Than he knit his eyebrows together and continued,"and anyways, who are you to tell me whether i should be asleep or awake, when did you become so mom-like?" After a short pause for effect he added,"oh wait..."

The last sentence probably came out a little harsher than he meant it because Sakura was a bit taken aback.

"I am sorry Naru-Hokage sama, i did not mean to pry" she said Apologetically. And got up from her position where she was bend over him. She turned to leave.

"Sakura, i did not mean it in a bad way, it was meant to be a joke. Don't leave." He said quickly standing up.

She turned around with a giddy smile. "Gotchya," she said,"like i would get mad over something like that, i mean it wasnt funny, but than again you rarely are, so its all good." she teased.

Naruto rolled his eyes and set back down only a second later realising that all of his dread and nervousness had gone away, but of course, the moment he realised it, it came rushing back.

Before he could do anything, she sat down next to him.

Both of them were quiet for a little while, Naruto not knowing how to start, what to say and generally still in shock to see Sakura, after he was just thinkink about her. He didnt know what Sakura was thinking.

"Soooo...whats up?" He asked into the air infront of him, not looking directly at Sakura.

"Not much," she answered, bobing her head sideways, her legs starting to kick up and down in the air.

"Ah, always good to hear" he mumbled.

 _"Apparantely it is not so easy to talk to a person who was once your best friend but you basically haven't seen for 10 years."_ Naruto thought. And the thought itself made him sad.

 _"So she isnt my best friend anymore, huh..."_

Sakura didnt seem anymore eager to start talking, but he could see the gears turning in her mind. He knew her, at least he thought he still knew her and the old Sakura in her wanted to scream at him and beat him sensless for not coming to visit her more, for not seeing her for such a long time and for being up this late for that matter. But he knew neither of them wanted to get into this, things were ok the way they were between them. Closed, sealed and quiet, not comfortable, but not complicated either, it was probably more than Naruto could ask for.

Or maybe he was overthinking it, maybe she just isnt talking because she is admiring Konoha. She doesnt have the same train of thought as him and so it did not really occur to her we haven't seen each other in such a long time. Maybe she understands i am a busy person now and she has her hands full with work at hospital and Sarada. Maybe it was normal for friends to just fall out of touch when they became adults, maybe it was like this with most of her other friends too. Maybe it wasnt forced and conscious.

"Long time no see huh?" She said quietly.

Or maybe he was just an idiot and should have come visit her more, memories or no memories, feelings or no feelings.

"Umm...yeah, sorry about that Sakura, i have been insanely busy lately." he answered her lamely. Even knew this could not stand as an answer.

"I understand, you are hokage now, everyone in the village is as important as a family member to you, that is what we signed up for when we pursued your dream."

Immidiately his answer had his inner gears turning.

 _"What does she mean, what we signed up for, when we pursued my drem? I pursued it, she pursued her own and we helped each other...or maybe..."_

"Yea i guess," he just mumbled with a forced smile and closed eyes.

"So, for example what you could have done better?"

"Huh?" He turned to her, genuenly confused.

"A while ago, when i was walking up, quietly as cat so i could scare you, which i didnt in the end mind you. You almost yelled something about all the things you could have done better. So i'm asking, for example what?"

Naruto had a quizzical expression on his face and a small tick tugged at his right eye. Inside his head he screamed and beat himself with everything he could think off.

"You heard that?"

"Sure did, it was heard to miss."

"Aaaaah, i was just thinking about some stuff, you know, work and family related." He spattered quickly to say any kind of at leat half belivable thing.

From the look she gave him, he knew she did not belive a thing of what he just said.

"Umm, i was deciding on budget for mission?" He tried.

"Signing approvals for ambassadors in Suna and Iwa to move forward with furthering the merchant treaties." He tried something more complicated, hoping it would throw her of his track.

"Grading academy paper?" He gave one last desparate try, seeing the same disbeliving scoff on her face.

"You don't mark school academy papers, you are hokage," she frowned.

"Oh you would be surprised what i have to mark when Iruka-sensei gets lazy and asks me for help."

Again he was met with distrusting look and silence.

"OK, im just not telling." He pouted and crossed hands over his chest.

At that she laughed and Naruto couldn't help but smile a little, her laught was still as beatiful to him as it ever was.

"Oh cmon, just tell me what you were thinking now, no ifs or buts about it, no explanation needed just tell me what got you screeching your wrongdoings at this moment and i will be satysfied, having some dirt on you Mr. Hokage-sama, cmoon." laughing again.

Naruto's face fell a little bit at that, he knew some of this was fake, there was no way she would be so easy going after all this time not seeing him. She was trying really heard not to start the talk he was already having in his mind.

He didnt know how she came to be here at this time a night, nor did he know why she just came up to him and started a chat out of nowhere after all these years, but he understood that opening the conversation he was thinking about would be a long and painful process, one that he wanted to avoid also.

He decided to play along, maybe she just wanted to drop the unpleseantness that it would lead to, skip it altogether and go back to the way things were before. He did not see any harm in telling her one of her thoughts, only adjusting it a little as not to reveal the line of his thinking, he knew nothing less than that would appease her.

"I was thinking about old times," he said to her truthfully after a small pause. Fear invaded Sakura's gaze.

"About how i used to be a moron who could not express himself right and it led me to many funny for you and painful for me situations, about how i misunderstood many things and ended up being on the receiving end of your fist and such." Naruto said with a soft smile.

"Oh," was her first reaction her eyes saddening somewhat, but she quickly came to."Mr Hokage-sama is a bit of a masochist isn't he, thinking about such things? She added playfully.

"Maybe. You know how it is, sometimes mind wanders and no matter how hard the times were, it was amazing when we were younger, wasnt it."

"Sure was." She smiled at him. Their eyes met for the first time since she sat down."So what specifically were you thinking about? No secrets, this is rare treat for both of us, don't try any funny business making the story stupid or idiotic. You tell me yours and i will tell you mine."

"Isnt stupid and idiotic esentially the same thing? He wondered out loud. "And what do you mean, i tell you mine, you tell me yours, do you have any thoughts like that too?"

"Hush and get to the story," she ushered him urgently. Like a kid waiting for a story book fairytale.

Ha laughed out loud at that. "You do realize my thinking back to our young days is not likely going to be a great story, first of it was just a few quick thoughts and second of, you were there pretty much the whole time."

"A few huh?" She said and Naruto curshed himself. "Well now, if you have a few of those, you can make a story. And you know i have not seen you much recently, so i will take what i can get and listen to you ramble on now whatever the topic really." She said half giddy with excitement.

Naruto couldn't read her, he himself was fighting an internal turmoil the size of a fourth great ninja war, planning to explain himself to her, run away screaming and continue this charade at the same time. But she seemed rather calm and collected, even hinting a few times that they have not seen each other in some time, like it was normal. For the sake of...well, whatever he would later on devise to try, he decided to go along with what he started and tell her a little bit of what he was thinking about.

 _"Just a small bite, maybe it will get us talking about old times and than i will just apologize, she will accept it and we will move past this, becoming friends again and ignoring this weird stuff i had in my mind recently."_ He thought inwardly.

"Alright i will tell you what i last thought about." He started. "It was nothing crazy, just thought back to when i was out with Jiraiya-sensei, training to bring Sasuke back. But mostly it was about when i came back to village, you know, seeing it how everything changed, meeting all my friends after three years... seeing you again."

A gentle smile settled on Sakura's features.

"But you wanted a good story, so i will make it one." He laughed and repositioned himself, turning to Sakura, tugging his legs underneath him and sitting on them in medatitation position, he ran a hand through his hair as he looked directly at her.

"Long time ago in a Village hidden in leafs an amazing ninja and future hero, idol of all the ladies was just coming back home from his arduous and exhausting journey to become stronger. Armed with new jutsu's and new strapy orange black outfit, he braved the streets of his long since seen home searching fort the place he wanted to see for, oh so long."

Her gentle smiled turned into an annoyed grin and he saw her hand twitch, signaling he wasnt far off from getting smacked over the head. He smiled as she said,"If you say Ichiraku ramen i will kick you off this monument."

"Umm, in that case he was not searching for a place but for a very important person, one that he longed to see more than the rest..." he recovered quickly.

Sakura's eyes widened a little at the sentence and immidiately recognized the moment he spoke about. When they saw each other for the first time after he came back from training with Jiraiya. Was he really looking for her than?

\- _Improved flashback no jutsu_ -


End file.
